Your BMW must be replaced with a domestic FWD of the same year

[KaiserRolls]

Easy

[B C]

"GOOOLE" 6000 LE

[patsbimmer1]

Maybe a Caliber SRT?  Fuck, that's a tough one.  All of the fwd domestics from 2007 are fucking miserable.

[HipMF]

Jesu Christo, why!?

I guess I'd try one of these in place of the e21:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shelby_Charger

I could trade it for a Chevette. However, despite being a colossal piece of shit, those were actually RWD. (I had one briefly. Best handbrake of any car I've owned thus far. Was going to swap a 3.4l v6 into it. Quickly realized it wasn't worth the time or effort)

The POS e34 could be replaced by a POS Cadillac Seville. It would still have the same clapped-out vintage luxury appeal, but would suck much wang in the winter compared to the executive drift machine.

A bit outside the the model year range of anything I own, but when I was a youngster my mom had a black Buick Skyhawk T-Type (turbo). The previous owner had done some funny business to get more boost out of it. Ran fine when mom drove it, but every time dad would borrow it, it would rip the splines out of torque converter. Hmm...

[Earl]

I would have to get a 1995 Corrado. The reason for my pick is because I've had a soft spot for them since a friend got one back in my high school days.

[Jeff]

1992 Buick park avenue. Luxurious wood grain and dinner plate wheels. I did love my 1989 Park Avenue and the 2004 Park Avenue I had. They both seemed to have passing power and the ride was amazing.

Look at the clouds they install

[jc43089]

Earl said:

I would have to get a 1995 Corrado. The reason for my pick is because I've had a soft spot for them since a friend got one back in my high school days. 

Domestic...

[B C]

Earl said:

I would have to get a 1995 Corrado. The reason for my pick is because I've had a soft spot for them since a friend got one back in my high school days. 

Try again or get B&

[Earl]

Oh shit. I was wondering why everyone was choosing random shit lol

1995 Ford Escort GT hatch. I saw one lowered once and it looked pretty good for being a Ford=P

[Jdesign]

Well I must say, you guys really found some shit domestic vehicles. 

I think I have an obvious pick with little need for explanation; Besides a typhoon is always better than a cyclone:

Manufacturer

GMC (General Motors)

Production

1991–1993
4697 produced

Body and chassis

Class

Mid-size SUV

Body style

3-door SUV

Layout

All Wheel Drive

Related

GMC Syclone
GMC Jimmy/Chevrolet Blazer
GMC Sonoma/Chevrolet S-10
Oldsmobile Bravada

Powertrain

Engine

4.3 L LB4 turbo V6

Transmission

4-speed 4L60 automatic

Dimensions

Wheelbase

100.5 in (2553 mm)

Length

170.3 in (4326 mm)

Width

68.2 in (1732 mm)

Height

60.0 in (1524 mm)

Curb weight

3822 lb (1734 kg)

[B C]

Haha!

must be FWD, try again broseph

[m42b32]

I would've picked the cyclone/typhoon if it were FWD, but maybe I wouldn't have if it were FWD....

[Jdesign]

DAMNIT! Can I just remove the driveshafts?

Fine, so I would pick a Dodge Stealth then. I mean, just look at the thing, it has crazy styling and also had a slew of odd advancements making it quite the contraption. BUT I must add per @Snap's rules that I would have to settle for the R/T model with only a 5spd FWD driveline and 80hp less that the TT version :(.

"The first generation model incorporated many of Mitsubishi's contemporary performance-enhancing technologies, such as full-time four-wheel drive(DAMNIT), four-wheel steering, active aerodynamics featuring automatically adjusting front and rear spoilers, sport/tour exhaust modes and electronically controlled suspension (ECS).[4] These "Active Aerodynamics" were not used on the Dodge Stealth.(DAMNITAGAIN) Visually, both the GTO, 3000GT and Stealth featured pop-up headlights and noticeable "caps" on the hood to accommodate the ECS controllers at the top of the strut turrets. However the rest of factory body kit differed in styling with their respective badges. Most notable are the Dodge signature cross-hairs on the Stealth front bumper fascia, Ferrari inspired gills on the 3000GT rocker panels, Crescent shaped spoiler on the Stealth commonly referred to as the "Banana Wing" and front Active Aero air dam on 3000GT VR4 (later discontinued on newer models)."

-WIKI

[Earl]

In all honesty, woudn't any DSM be considered Domestic? Were we speaking built in the United States or made by a US based company?

[B C]

oooh, nice one!  I have been seeing a lot of Stealth's/3000GTs this summer

[patsbimmer1]

Domestic is defined as the big 3 (Chevy/Chrysler/Ford) who are based in the U.S.  Acura, Lexus, etc. are not domestic because they are not based out of the U.S.  DSM's sold by the domestic OEM are domestic but they're counteparts are not.  Same as vehicles built in the U.S. such as BMW X series, Some Nissan's and so on.

[Iceddragon]

I'll take a 2007 Chevy Malibu SS. One of the first cars I ever drove was a rental Malibu and I just liked it, I don't really know why. While googling what that car was I found they made an SS version with like 240hp, how bad could it be?

[patsbimmer1]

Iceddragon said:

I'll take a 2007 Chevy Malibu SS. One of the first cars I ever drove was a rental Malibu and I just liked it, I don't really know why. While googling what that car was I found they made an SS version with like 240hp, how bad could it be?

Pretty bad lol.  I mean, as far as this list goes though it's towards the top because they're less bad than the other turds.  At least your choice actually answered the question correctly...

[Morzada]

I would have said '98 Ford Probe GT, 'cept they were discontinued in 97.  I had a 93 - loved that car (most of it was Mazda).

[HipMF]

1996 Ford Asipe if it had a Mazda BP engine swap.

1800-2000 pounds stock. 130hp and a big rear sway bar would probably be enough to make it amusing. It's like a Golf, except worse in every way.